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Bridget of Bleecker Street "On ENDA"
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Welcome to the Coffee House and Lesbian Bookstore of Bridget Lynch, Irish ex-patriate living on Bleecker Street in the Village. Trinity College drop-out, Southside Dubliner, and "paythroon iv th' arts;" she has something to say about everything.
Maura Hennessey
Bridget of Bleecker Street
On ENDA
On a recent autumn afternoon I turned onto Bleecker and walked down the well worn steps to the coffee house and bookstore of the Philosopher-Queen of the Village for a much needed "cuppa" after a long day at work. That familiar Southside accent greeted my ears as I pushed open the door at the bottom of the steps leading to my badly needed java. "ENDA....'tis the enda, all right, th' enda fair treatment t'all b't gay stockbrokers in suits. Bloody gobshites posin' as straights, votin' Raypublican gits pr'ticted, an' the werkin' Lesbeen gits tossered t' th' wolves."
Peasant blouse, broom skirt and red hair were flying in a self-created wind as she streaked from around the counter to bring me a strong brew in one of her famous shamrock mugs.
"Tis like the Numberberger Laws in Germany, b'fore the Holly-cast, M'reen.
They're gonna protect the "good gays and Lesbeens" th' ones who don' look gay or Lesbeen nor act gay and Lesbeen. Th' ones who be hidin b'hind their clothes in them closets. An' Bernie Franks tis gonna say th't he helped us when he skelped us."
She had the attention of the entire shop, with people moving gingerly from behind the bookshelves to watch the red hair firebrand in rare form.as she hopped up to sit next to her register to pontificate and point her finger accusingly at the room in general.
"Dhey excluded nearly all t' Lesbeens and gays, since failin t' observe geender steerreo-types be unpr'ticted by th' new an' disproved ENDA, which, t' me thinkin', has bin more emasculated t'en Bernie Franks tis guessin' by his heroic stand here fer civil rights fer anyone else b't him an' th' priv'ledged fewer."
I sat finally, placed my cup on the Triskelle coaster, and listened to the Sermon on the Counter
"Th'r tis more colours in the Rainbow Flag thin jist the red of Log Cabinit Raypublicans, M'reen. An' whin the Dimmycrats say dhey cannot be suppairtin' us widhout sacrificin' most iv us, thin tis time t' be marchin' an' protestin' agin. An' twas th' Trannies th't first stood ip fer th'rest iv us."
"But now, we've gotta be tossin' dhem trannies off th' sleigh t' git our rights; they bein' no use to the pollyticians 'cept when dhey be catchin' police clubs wit' their heads fightin' our cause. An' not just dhem, but th' butches, and most of the Lesbeens an' gay men 'cept maybe Ellen, M'lissa an' Bernie Franks and the gay stockbrokers an' maybe a few iv dhem high femme Lesbeen ackydemic writers th't hate iv'ryone 'cept high femme ackydemic Lesbeen writers, like German Greer, or th' gay versions like Dale Carpentry."
"Whin a man th't embarressed th' rist iv us by shackin' up wid a hustler an' demandin' th' right t'do so can be tellin' th' rest iv us t' trust his judgement an' foller his leadership, tis time t' be takin a good look at who we bin lettin' lead us, and meebe re-thinkin' an' re-votin', 'cause it be re-voltin'."
She paused; I took another sip of a coffee that was far cooler than her temper and meekly spoke up, asking her what she thought the solution was.
"Well, M'reen, tis like this. First iv all, we've gotten to be gettin' Bernie out of th' Congress, 'cause t' Congresses lissen t' him whin he says what th' Congresses tell him t' say. We need Tammy Baldwin as th' L-G-Bay-T spokes-Lesbeen 'cause she follows th' rev'lutionary concept iv spaykin' f'r th' payple she spayks f'r. Th'n we gotter be gittin' a Butch Lesbeen ilicted in Provincetown t' suppairt Tammy in th' Congresses. 'Tis no use gettin' rights that dhey tell us cost the rights of a few an' actually cost th' rights iv th' many. Remember th't th' Devil asked God t' make th' battle iv good an' evil more equal, so he create
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320 days ago
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Bridget of Bleeker Street
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Welcome to the Coffee House and Lesbian Bookstore of Bridget Lynch, Irish ex-patriate living on Bleeker Street in the Village. Trinity College drop-out, Southside Dubliner, and "paythroon iv th' arts;" she has something to say about everything. Because of the dialect, Bridget Stories are understood best if read aloud.
Maura Hennessey
Bridget of Bleeker Street
"On the Churches and Nigeria's Anti-Gay Law"
"Tis war upon us all, Maureen, that 't'is, and no doubts 'bout it."
The Grande Dame of Bleeker Street handed me my coffee in a new shamrock mug, took a deep breath and continued as I sat down at a table close by the serving counter that she was presiding at.
"This Neegeria thing, 'tis naught but war 'pon Lesbeens. Five lon' yayers hard labor fer gatherin' in a Lesbeen cloob an' business. I'd be fillin' all their prisons in a week if me shop were there. Now, some er sayin' that 'tis the Mooslamics thing, the Shania law; them peoples not bein' Shania fans. But 'tis the Churches too, lass, Rome an' th' Canterberries, that suppairted this trawvisty upoon civil rights."
"Tis nothin' new, mind ye. Dhey use to toss us into th' Mag'dlen launderies fer bein' at a 'grave moral risks.' Meebee that's what th' 'hard larbor' is, since th' Church is ferever needin' cleanin' up after. 'Be lovin' th' sinner and hatin' them and th' sins' is what the Bishops bin sayin here but them same Churches bein' plottin' to lock us all up when dhey get th' power to be doin' it since dhey done it in Neegeria. As if lockin' up wimmen t'gether weren't th' stoopidist thin' to stop Lesbeens."
My cup was drained, so Bridget refilled it and continued her political discourse.
"Rome an' th' Canterberries Bishops are fine with Neegeria lockin' us up fer huggin an' rentin' an' buyin' an' meetin' an' talkin' an' raydin' Lesbeen books an' ayven bein' in a shop in groups iv two er more er ayven discussin' HIV. Thim sayin' th't dhey only want t' stop marryin' here 'tis a lie. Dhey'll be doin' th' same thin' here if dhey get the chance. 'Tis proopagnda, th' 'lovin' us' lies dhey tell; dhey love us in prison or launderies an' invisible t' th' werrld."
Pondering her wisdom for a moment, I asked her if she really thought that her frightening vision were possible in Manhattan.
"Well, Maureen, tis like this. If dhey were to be doin' it, there's not enuf prison cells in NooYerk fer it. Dhey'd ayther have to poot up a wall with no gates 'round the Village t' keep us in, or poot up a wall with no gates 'round St Paddy's Cathaydral t' keep us oot. "Tis chayper to put a wall 'roundin' St Paddy's, which is fine by me."
"But still, Maureen, 'tis war dhey declared 'pon Lesbeens an' gay men. Th' cold war tis over an' the rayal war has begun. An' me first act in response t' th' aylegal aggrishun tis to declare an embargo. I'll not be servin' no more Bishops an' praysts whin dhey come in fr'm th' bars with their boyfrins. Dhey kin get their soberin' up supplies at th' straight shops, an' too bad whin payple see thim."
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586 days ago
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Bridget of Bleeker Street
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Welcome to the Coffee House and Lesbian Bookstore of Bridget Lynch, Irish ex-patriate living on Bleeker Street in the Village. Trinity College drop-out, Southside Dubliner, and "paythroon iv th' arts;" she has something to say about everything.Because of the dialect, Bridget Stories are understood best if read aloud.
Maura Hennessey
Bridget of Bleeker Street
"The Pope and Midnight Mass"
I had a post-holiday craving for gourmet coffee so I bundled up against the cold and walked quickly up the street and dropped down the steps to Bridget's front door. I went to the counter, bought a large cup to go, only to be way-laid on my way out by a woman in a peasant blouse, broom skirt and lace up boots motioning me to join her at her table, the indomintable Bridget herself.
"I hear tell from Kate that ye 'tended Midnight Mass with the good Sisters up north," she began. "Me, I stayed to home with the cats and watched the Inimy of th' Peoples in tellyvision."
I looked quizzically at her, not understanding the reference, so she continued and explained "The Pope, th' "Ill Papa," he's bin always the Inimy of th' Peoples everywhere, least them's who be unbeholdin' to him."
"Th's Pope, he starts off th' scariest iv choices and thin get's 'lilicted cause the Cardinals are bein' too 'fraid iv him t' say no. He's a scholar, got his doct-churat from some fine German place where ye can't even proonounce th' name iv th' place lest ye've four years iv post grad stoodies. "
"I'm shure th't his fav'rite philosopher in his school-boy days was Kant, 'cause th't's all he's bin sayin' ever since he poot on the glory-ose Triple Crown of St Payder. 'Ye can't be gay, Ye can't be a Lesbeen, Ye can't be birth controllin', Ye can't fight back if ye be a Mooslamic."
"In the states, ayvin whin he's not usin' th' word, it's still Kant. He and them Bishops makin' rules so ye can't vote fer a dimmycrat without collectin' a mortal sin 'less they rayally be a raypublican in dimmycrat's clothes."
"In me days at Thrinity College, th' Orange Boys use to burn th' Pope in iffigy on th' 5th of November but th' Archbishop protested and they put a stopper to it. But now, nary a word fr'm th' Pope's Bishops whin one of them Afir'can places burn a rayal live gay or Lesbeen. Plennty iv wurrds come out if the unborn be threatin'd, but not a whisper whin th' unburned are 'bout t' be burned."
"Use' to be I thought th't Ian Paisley, Bob Jones, Pat Robbysin, and Jaimey Dobsin be the most daft an' hatin' men alive. But th'n this Pope, he come's 'long a praychin' the love of Christ and sayin' Kant an' makin' a mess of things. Th' Inimy iv th' Peoples, Maureen, th't's what he's b'come. An' th't'll be his doonfall."
I asked the red-haired wise woman what she meant.
"Th' man can't keep makin' inimies, Maureen. There soon'll be naught but thim Bishop's left th't tisn't on his list. He'll stick with his Kant, though. He'll be thinkin soon 'This kan't be happ'nin'."
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586 days ago
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